Fake News

Not something we at GFD Group are NOT in the habit of creating or spreading but unfortunately it now seems to be everywhere. Half-truths, misquotes, sensational statistics and basic lies seem to make up a very large proportion of what we used to believe was a correct portrayal of the news and it has, frankly, left many wondering what we can believe – take for instance the article below if you saw it in your local press what would you make of it – Fake or True – you decide.

Its about doors because that’s what interests us here at GFD Group –

The revolutionary “Eco Friendly “Composite door manufactured from paper.

 

From this                                                                     to this

 

 

Working diligently behind the scenes in the offices of one of the countries premier door manufacturers a team of highly qualified technicians have developed a brand-new front door. Solid, sustainable, durable, stylish, maintenance free, are all adjectives we use to describe front doors and we are told that this one has it all and much much more. We have had exclusive access to the companies Chief Technician and we asked him to describe in his own words the process involved in the manufacture of this radical new door.

“We were looking for a source product that represented minimum cost, came from a sustainable readily available source had limited carbon footprint and would ultimately be bio degradable and after months of consideration we decided upon “Papier mache” not an obvious choice but one which we believed we could make work. We initially decided to make three qualities of doors – premium, mid-range and economy to achieve this we carefully sort our base products –

the premium range must only include quality newsprint, the Times, The Observer, Financial Times, Country Life, Horse and Hound etc

for the mid-range we settled on the Mail, the Express the Mirror at a pinch, Hello and similar magazines

and for the economy range – the Sun, The Star, The Sport, all comics and any old envelopes, cardboard etc

we did have a few problems with some of the supplements the Mail on Sunday produces one that is borderline premium but we opted to leave it as mid-range.

We employed a similar process with door reinforcement

For the premium a 30-metre roll of aluminium kitchen foil (the good stuff that you can not poke your fingers through) 30 metre that’s 10 thicknesses per door which we considered pretty impressive

For the mid-range as last but only 15 metres

For the economy range 10 metres of the stuff you can poke your fingers through.

Once the core products are sorted we hand them to our manufacturing teams who cut them all up into strips and bite size chunks prior to mixing.

The mixing is key and we only use quality vessels –

For the premium a quality range of free standing baths with a nice roll top and ornate taps

For the mid-range some of those nice UPVC baths that wobble when you stand in them

For the economy range some tin baths that we bought at the antiques place around the corner.

And of course, the key secret ingredient – water – it all makes a lovely squelchy mess which we transfer to moulds, that we have made from the proper doors that we manufacture, clamp the moulds together with some “G” clamps and then get “big Al” from accounts to jump on them a few times to keep them nice and tight until they start to dry out

Almost forgot, we add some fancy (top secret) bonding /hardening agent and a bit of fire proofing resin to the mix, just in case – and we put some timber blocks where the screws will go, hardwood for the premium, softwood for the mid-range and old packing crate cut offs for the economy.

The look lovely when they come out of the moulds, particularly with a couple of coats of gloss”

Our reporter felt duty bound to ask a few pertinent and obvious questions

“Do they transport well?”

“As long as its not raining- we forgot to paint around the edges of the first batch and they did not react well to the rain particularly as we delivered them on an open top wagon – by the time they reached their destination they had somewhat disintegrated “

“and how easy are they to install”

“So far, the timber fixing blocks have only fallen out on 50% of the doors, but its all a learning curve”

“what do your customers make of them “

“Early days, they are after all they are revolutionary and new and a 95% rejection rate is to be expected as we said a learning curve”

“Have you offered compensation?”

“No! but we have committed to continue replacing the doors until we get it right”

Solid, sustainable, durable, stylish, maintenance free, and coming to a showroom near you soon the door that may not perform exactly as you would expect.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Clearly – Fake News written by ourselves to show how easy it is to mislead – the first two paragraphs make sense but we admit to getting a little silly with the supposed “Chief Technicians” comments and of course we have nothing against the Papier mache industry who make many extremely good and durable products.

But if it really is a Solid, sustainable, durable, stylish, maintenance free door you are after we at Timber Composite Doors have been writing about them and selling them for more than ten years and their ECO credentials have featured strongly in articles such as “Composite doors how green is their carbon footprint today?”   and it associated link article.

Solidor from Timber Composite Doors – Solid, sustainable, durable, stylish, maintenance free – proven as a quality door for over ten years – this bit is definitely not FAKE NEWS find out more by visiting the Composite Doors web site.