Thanks Social Media, you make our job easier!


Social Media – making life easy for your neighbourhood burglar

Hello John – got a new motor – and now you are off on your holidays – good of you to let us know

Me and my mates just love Social media saves us doing a bit of research on your home – particularly when you tell us about your new car or that your off to sunnier climates for a couple of weeks – no need to check if you’re in before we come in cos you just Face booked that you’re on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean – hope you left your car on the drive.

Contrary to popular belief most of us in the profession of relieving you of your valuables prefer to work between 9am to 5pm – while you are at work and your house is empty and if you leave the odd window just slightly open or forget to lock a back door we will find it – it’s just like a “welcome mat” – that says come in and enjoy yourself. We definitely don’t like closed and locked windows or door locks that are designed to stay locked particularly that Ultion one – we much prefer the older easy stuff. It never ceases to amaze me and the lads how easy some of you make life for us – “keys on a string behind the letterbox or under a plant pot” and that letterbox if we see overflowing mail for a couple of days we know you’re not home and even better if it’s nice and loose and well used all the better, if your keys are visible and in reach we can hook them easy. Some of the lads are dab hands at doing the same through cat flaps. If we can’t make the front and you allow us to walk into your garden rest assured we are not shy we will always suss out the easiest point of entry so the back needs to be locked just as much as the front.

Most of us are simply looking for easy targets – you can forget the flashy break ins you see in the movies – we have not got the time and we do not like the sound of “breaking glass” or “cracking wood” if we see that we will have to resort to a bit of brute force we will probably give you a miss. Unless of course you advertise a few goodies that will make it worth our while – you know the sort of thing – jewellery boxes, quality electrical goods cameras etc all in full view through your windows – the sort of stuff we can pass on for a few quid down the pub or market. Please don’t tell us you have never been offered anything a bit “warm” when you have been on a lad’s night out.

If your home is well lit so it looks like you’re in residence it’s probably not worth the risk and yes even we can be fooled by those fancy timers that switch the lights on when you’re not home. As for alarms they either work or they don’t and lots are never switched on – personally speaking “I won’t risk em” a lot of them with cameras and internal klaxons are getting a bit too sophisticated for my liking – particularly the ones with the cameras linked to your mobile – I give them a wide berth not worth the hassle.

Modern technology – some you win some you lose – you win with good locks and fancy security systems but me and my mates win with your stupidity – Social Media – is a god send – particularly if you’re the sort who advertises your every movement – you know we said earlier we preferred to work 9-5 well what do you think we do in the evenings – we sit on our phones and tablets and scrutinise the good old internet to see just who is where and what they are doing – you may be on the beach – but life for us is a beach if you tell us your off sunning yourself. Oh, almost forgot don’t expect that nice shiny new car to be on the drive when you come home make it a little bit harder for us and stick it in the garage.

A little after thought please do not think we are stupid – if we get into your home we know where to look for your goodies – its nice for you to hide them but very few of you are original – you all use the same places if you want to protect your property you will have to smarten up and find some new hiding places.

Now the bit I get into trouble for – the advice as to how to beat me and my mates at our own game its easy really all you have to do is just enough to make us think twice and go look for another poor unfortunate souls’ property.

  • Always lock doors and windows before leaving for work or before you go to bed and ensure your locks and security devices are of a high quality and specification preferably ones that meet BS3621 and don’t forget to put a lock on the garden gate.
  • Keep keys away from windows and doors, we do not like key safes either particularly if you have them fixed to the wall and you lock them.
  • Check out the letterbox / cat flap etc if they are old and have dodgy springs get them replaced – those letterplates with both inner and outer flaps are particularly vicious on the fingers.
  • Keep your valuables, out of sight from windows on the ground floor.
  • Home alarms and CCTV we simply do not like whether they are working / switched on or not – it’s not worth taking the chance.
  • Lights and noise, we do not like – security lights, crunchy gravel drives and gardens with no shrubbery in which we can hide are definitely no-go areas.
  • Timer switches to turn lights on and off are good for you but not for us as we do not know whether you are home or away.
  • Far be it from one in my profession to recommend it but one of these firmly secured to a floor or wall is the best place for your valuables

Picking the odd lock to gain entry to your home is one thing but a bit of safe cracking is a bit to special for most of us


  • If you think you are vulnerable (and most of you are) you could always, check the Police’s advice for property marking if we can see it is marked or traceable, we will probably not take the risk and leave it behind.

It’s getting late – just off to check my Social Media to see who is away from home – you have been warned.



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